SURF MUMS

A revolution of female surfing

If you’re a woman who’s ever tried to learn to surf, often with the guidance of your boyfriend, I know your pain and here I offer you an alternative. Let me introduce you to a revolutionary relationship, an answer to all your surfing woes.

She’s been over the falls and taken plenty on the head. She’s been shouted at by middle aged men, and handed unwanted advice by unwanted men. She’s been gawked at, laughed at and yelled at. All for the sake of sharing her hard-earned skills with you.

Now she’s emerged from the wash, a dignified woman. You admire her because you can’t imagine ever being rinsed as crisp and confident. Until one day, you too make the drop into your new role as a ‘Surf Mum’.

The satisfaction of riding a wave is rivaled by one thing only. Watching your friend have a taste of that unbeatable feeling. Not being a real Mum is no barrier to the unmistakable pride a ‘Surf Mum’ feels watching her figurative off-spring go from pre-surf nerves to making ‘the drop’ on a big day that you told her wasn’t that big.

This reciprocal relationship is not without its frustrations. Sometimes Mum leaves you to fend for yourself while she seeks out something more substantial, leaving you feeling abandoned and scared. We all need a little tough love sometimes, and you retrospectively appreciate that initiative is the best lesson she could teach you.

Like most literal mother/daughter bonds, it’s not Mum’s first rodeo and she knows when you’re making excuses. She knows when you’re intentionally missing waves and not paddling as hard as you could because you’re saturated with fear. She tries to lure you further into the line-up because; ‘’You can’t catch the wave over there!’’ she embarrassingly shouts.

You latch onto here ease and she washes away all your inhibitions. Because one must be bold to navigate the sea of ego that awaits.

Emma

Matriarch Surf Mum, first branch on the maternal family tree, is a bewildering brunette bomb shell. Full of grace as she dances down the line, Emma’s respect for the ocean radiates through any egotistical desire for waves.

The daughter of a legendary Surf Life Saver, budgie smuggler poster-boy, she was destined for glory. When I first met her at a high school party my respect was instant and I quickly latched onto her surf expert-teet.

Headed for the coast at any opportunity, she would sneak waves between saving lives and stealing hearts. There, at the beach she patrolled, our bond was formed and she became my own personal Life Guard.
After falsely leading my new idol to believe that I too was a ‘Surfy Girl’, I struggled through the pounding turbulence of the beach break to her reassuring smile, eager to impress yet so incredibly out of my depth.

It was in that moment that Emma adopted me into her care and my progression excelled.

She’s always there, equally excited about it as you. She makes you feel like everything was your own idea and you’re the only surfer out there. Always eager to challenge the traditional beach babe image of female surfing,
Emma evokes special attention, not for her appearance, but for her deep respect for the ocean and the unique way each one of us experiences it. In all aspects of Emma’s life, she’s surfing to the rhythm of her own ocean.

Hannah

If you tell me I can’t I will certainly try. Hannah never spoke such words. She never set cautionary boundaries and was rather blasé at times. Which meant we took to some pretty questionable seas. She embraced dumpings like a therapy session, always surfacing with a smile on her face. This surf mum was like a ‘cool’ Mum that just wants to be your friend, utilising a hands-off tact of parenting. Avoiding technical pointers or disciplining one liners, she’s always near in all her unique joviality, utterly radiating which was reassurance enough to dissipate my surfing nerves. Her lack of technical pointers had me adopting her own hands up t-rex style, which like any bold genetic trait, I’ve only just managed to shake.

The kindest person I know, it’s no wonder she’s up at the break of dawn, surfing for mental health awareness, attending rallies for marine park conservation, picking up rubbish or being chased by turtle poachers.

After sailing through the Pacific and hitting exotic spots like The Galapagos and Teahupo’o. It was in the packed waters of Byron Bay that her surfing and human dodging abilities flowered. Out there every day, no excuses. It was at this peak in her determination that I stopped making excuses and let her mother me.

Lucy

Is it the way she looks back at me? Or is it the way she cheers me on as I paddle my little heart out? Or maybe it’s the discipline she dishes out when I stand on the shore contemplating my fate?

Since discovering embracing Lucy as my Surf Mum, it’s hard to imagine learning any new skill without a strong, female figure guiding me every step of the way.

If there’s one thing I can count on, it’s that she’s always going to be there. My mentor, my support and my own personal cheer squad. Whether I’ve surfaced after a serious thumping, dodged a wave I technically should have paddled for, or if I’ve actually managed to catch a wave, I look back and she’s there with that cheeky grin.

Like every Mother/Daughter relationship, there are times when we both battle through the hardships. While a convincing 98.7% of the time Mum is in the perfect position, there is the odd time that we’ll both get caught on the inside, ready to fight the battle and take the inevitable beating. I’ll never forget the time Lucy and I were both in the pit of inescapable doom. She looked back at me, and spoke a thousand words in one powerful glance.

In my mind, it went a little something like this.

“Alex, we’ve got this. Sometimes you’ve just got to take one on the chin to appreciate the finer things in life. Right now, we’re scared and we’re afraid, but we’ll look back on this and we’ll laugh.”

And boy, did we laugh.

For most, surfing is a story of personal trials and tribulations. In the case of our treasured family tree, it’s a matter of building unbreakable bonds, sharing wisdom and proving that the unimaginable can be achieved when the right support system is thrust upon you.

At the end of the day, we have no desire to match our male counterparts by conquering. We’re simply there to soak up the beauty of our surroundings and enjoy the sweet injections of adrenalin as we try not to die.

Alex

By Lucy Sanderson Dyer

Enjoying Lucy’s writing? Contact her l.sandersondyer@gmail.com